I had been standing at the counter well over 15 minutes vacillating among the plethora of fresh bagels. Cinnamon raisin, poppyseed, honey whole wheat, asiago, and chocolate chip were all screaming my name. “Pick me! Pick me!” They all presented themselves so perfectly. How was I to choose?
“Arthi, just pick one. We’ve been here way too long. You’re going to miss your flight.”
My mom anxiously fiddled with her Blackberry eager to get back to work.
“I don’t know which one I want. You decide for me.”
I don’t know how I got to this point. To this level of frustration. It had become such a hassle, such a headache, to make such simple decisions.
“I’m not choosing for you. Pick a bagel now.”
Her firm voice surprised me. Her patience for me was quickly deteriorating. It was now or never.
“I’ll just take the plain one.”
I had conquered Panera and it was now time to return to Phoenix. With melancholy eyes, I dragged a tired body, a heavy duffel bag, and a plain bagel on board a tiny Southwest plane. As I shuffled down the aisle, frustration began to fester within my mind. Window seat or Aisle seat?
I had always preferred Southwest airlines to the others. The friendly staff, the good deals, and the complementary beverages won me over effortlessly. The open seating, however, configured the state of pure chaos.
The “what ifs?” began to fire. What if I sit by the window and have to get up too many times? But what if I sit by the isle and get too sleepy? I like being able to rest my head against the window.
The line quickly grew behind me. I could sense the irritation of the other passengers.
I had to choose now.
I quickly glanced over the remaining seats and narrowed in on a quiet window seat. I settled in, took a deep breathe, and closed my eyes.
I was suddenly awakened by the shriek of a young boy. A mom and her son had cornered me in. I was done for.
I should have picked the aisle...
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I liked your story very much. It was an interesting exchange between you, your mother, and your inner struggle. My main critique would be that it doesn't seem very "braided". If, perhaps, you had shifted to your mother's perspective at some point, or had woven in a previous episode (perhaps one that explained the root reason for your inability to make the decisions you are faced with) it would have brought this essay more into that form. That's not to say that this essay doesn't work the way it is. I quite liked it. It was amusing and kind of sad at the same time. I would jsut suggest considering injecting alternate voices into the text to give it more texture.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your blog. It was very comical, especially at the end. There are a couple problems with it, the first of which is more of an opinion. In the first sentence "...standing at the counter well over 15 mins..." I think that it flows a little better "...standing at the counter for well over 15 mins...". Another problem I found is that you had the theme of your essay which was decisions, you just needed to elaborate more on the story. Maybe have totally different stories that could fit together, or change the point of view. You just needed more of the story and changed it up a bit. It was an enjoyable story, and I think that it was great.
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