Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ring. Ring. Ring.

#1
It was frigid outside. My bare legs were covered in goosebumps as I paraded through Manhattan wearing a slinky dress and delicate heels. I barely noticed the shivers running throughout my body. It must have been the vodka.
It was the night after Christmas and my family and I were headed to an authentic Cuban restaurant nestled perfectly within the city. We were invited in by an enticing live band, the potent aroma of Cuban cigars, and some seriously sexy waiters. We clumsily danced the night away.
I reached for my camera, in attempts to capture those precious moments. Instead, I knocked over two Mojitos and a Bud Light.

It was that night where I had witnessed my first drowning.
I helplessly watched my beloved cell phone suffocate in a sea of alcohol.

#2
I arose to the sound of a pure silence. It had been weeks since my last day off and I finally had the opportunity to give rest to myself as well as my alarm clock. The sun was slowly beginning to rise. I took a moment to gaze out the window and appreciate the stillness of my environment. I set out on a long jog to commence my day of freedom. I read my favorite trash magazines. I washed my hair. I shaved my legs. I painted my nails. I baked muffins. I even vacuumed. I dedicated those precious hours to bettering my emotional stability.

The night, however, arrived quickly. My glorious day had come to an end. I began preparing for my return to reality. I plugged in my laptop. I checked my work schedule. I got my books together.
I waited as long as I could until I had no other choice. I finally turned on my cell phone.

RING RING RING!
“What’s up?”
“Is everything okay?!?!?”
“Yah, why?”
“I’ve been calling you all day! And your phones been off. And I texted you. And you didnt text me back. And I even sent you a message on Facebook! I thought you were dead. Or mad at me!”

And back to reality…

#3
An unknown number.
Should I answer? Or should I ignore it? Maybe it’s that guy I met last week. Or maybe I won that BMW I saw at the mall. Or maybe it’s the director of the internship I’m trying to get.
I should answer the phone.
But what if it’s my boss. What if he wants me to come into work tonight. Or what if it is really that guy I met last week. Do I really want to talk to him now? I don’t think I liked him that much.
Maybe I’ll just let it go to voicemail.
But what if it’s really important? What if it’s someone who really needs me? What if something happened to my mom? Or my brother? Or someone else I love?

Panic takes over.

I have to answer that phone.

“Hello?”
“Hey, Todd?”


Wrong number...

2 comments:

  1. Nice blogs. You have a very unique writing style, it's quite refreshing. It's like you care for every story you write, and want everyone else to care about it too...pretty cool. All three stories are very good, I have nothing bad to say about any of them, they were just really good. You are the only person who gave me suggestions besides grammar check, thank you. I'll try to incorporate more emotion and details in this next post.

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  2. I especially enjoyed your second story. The cell phone is conspicuously absent throughout the first part, and when you turn it back on you capture perfectly that oh-so-common modern situation. It definitely reveals the convenience/burden that is the cell-phone age, and the desire for solitude that can be overwhelming. Your use of dialogue is very well done.

    Your third story is also quite entertaining and well written. I think that this stream-of-consciousness style really suits your voice and you do it very well, bringing us along with you as the possibilities course through your mind. It’s a very relatable line of reasoning, and revelatory of your personality. The ending is also funny and unexpected, a difficult thing to do in such a short essay. Good work.

    Your first essay was good as well, excellent descriptions of the bar and your inebriated state. What I would look at once more are the final two lines. They provide the punchline of the tale, and they could be slimmed down a bit in order to avoid passivity. I think “It was that night where I had witnessed my first drowning.” Could be something like “That was the night I witnessed my first drowning” (this avoids the dilemma of “had” in the sentence). In the second line when you say “suffocate”, there could be a more effective drowning-related word to substitute. This is entirely a matter of interpretation of course, but “suffocate” seems to be more of a choking-word than a drowning-word. Other than those small preference notes, I very much liked your entire post. I look forward to reading more. :)

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